Nine Tailed (Realm of Four Kingdoms) by Jayci Lee

Author:Jayci Lee [Lee, Jayci]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Montlake
Published: 2024-08-02T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

The Book of Answers doesn’t clear up the next day. So we decide to wait and try again after another day. And another day. And another day after that. We play house like this for several days—eating in the courtyard, talking for hours, falling asleep beneath the blue sky.

In the space between sleep and wakefulness, I tell Ethan things I’ve never told anyone. And he listens as though he wants to soak up every word that comes out of my mouth. He tells me things too—about the years after I left him and Ben. About the years before I met them.

“How did your parents die?” I ask, staring up at the wispy clouds.

“Car accident,” he says simply. “It happened when I was eight. I was at school, and the principal called me into her office. I thought I was in trouble for drawing a caricature of my homeroom teacher. But Ben was there . . .”

I reach for his hand. He laces our fingers together.

“He said it happened quickly and they didn’t suffer. And they were together, so they didn’t feel lonely.” Ethan clears his throat. “Ben dropped out of college to take care of me, and we moved to LA. I don’t remember why we moved, but I’m glad we did, because you came into our lives a handful of years later.”

“I was happy with you guys, you know.” I turn my head away. “That’s why I left. I . . . I got scared.”

“I want to make you happy again.” He cups my cheek and turns me to face him, shifting to his side. “And I won’t let you run away this time. I’m going to keep you happy.”

I crush my lips against his so suddenly that he gasps with surprise. I had to shut him up. He can’t say things like that. It makes me feel things I can’t acknowledge. It makes me long for things I don’t deserve. But I also kiss him because I want to . . . I want him. That, I can acknowledge. The quiet of the last few days has taught me that I care about him. That he’s my friend. But I also desire him with every cell in my body. I want to touch him and be touched by him. I hunger for him. I burn for him.

And I’m beginning to understand that being his friend and lusting after him don’t have to be mutually exclusive. I’m inexperienced, but I don’t have to experience things firsthand to know things. It’s hard not to learn all kinds of stuff when you’ve lived as long as I have. So I know friends with benefits is a thing. It’s actually a very practical, mature thing.

I’ve been lonely, even though I never admitted it to myself. Being with Ethan has eased that loneliness. I’m also horny as hell. It might have something to do with the fact that I’m a one-hundred-thirty-two-year-old virgin. That was a choice I made. This is also a choice I’m making.

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